The dark side of having families that watch as much TV as we do

Tara and I are still watching Lost and Vampire Diaries, but we’re finding it difficult. We now prefer to watch them together (as in, we’ll watch one episode of each and then repeat until we realize we’ve been watching TV for far too long and begin hating ourselves), but the problem resides with Lost. You see, we can’t watch it at Tara’s house, because her mom and brother don’t like the show. They watched up until season 3 and then quit, which baffles me, because season 3 was my favorite. So I feel the need to debate the various pros and cons with her brother. And then we can’t watch it at my house, because my family likes Lost way too much and they blurt out spoilers before they can stop themselves. My dad spoiled two things for Tara within like five minutes, one of which I had been keeping under wraps for the past two months.

So basically we have to wait until one of our houses is free and then frantically squash in a few episodes. This is the struggle, people. This is what we deal with.

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Sawyer’s Glasses: A Eulogy

This gif (source here) will serve as a guide for the following conversation, because Tara finally watched the season finale of Lost, season one. Just look at his glasses. Try and look past the paragon of manly perfection that is his face and look at those things.

Anyway. Now that you’ve got the background story…

Elodie: I think we should take a moment to reflect upon a loss we suffered tonight.
Elodie: Sawyer’s spectacular dipshit glasses.
Elodie: They really should have prioritized while the raft was going down. “QUICK SOMEBODY HIDE THE GLASSES.”
Tara: “GIVE THEM THE KID, MAYBE THEY’LL LEAVE THE GLASSES.”
Elodie: “NO NOT THE RAFT! THE GLASSES ARE STILL ON BOARD!”
Tara: “THE GLASSES ARE GONE, WE ALL MIGHT AS WELL JUST DROWN NOW.”
Elodie: I’m sorry I just spoiled the real cliffhanger of the season one finale.
Elodie: The fate of the glasses. But the sooner you know the sooner you can accept, and move on.
Tara: I understand, you had to rip the band-aid off.
Elodie: Those glasses gave us some chuckles. Some laughs, some good times. Mostly at Sawyer’s expense. And in the end, they gave us their life.
Tara: They gave us an entire episode subplot.
Elodie: Amen.

*wounded animal noise*

I HAVE BEEN SPOILED FOR VAMPIRE DIARIES.

I knew this would happen eventually, if I continued to spend egregious amounts of time on Tumblr. I knew this day was coming. I just… didn’t know it would come so soon.

That’s okay though. I guess. I mean, I accidentally spoiled LOST for Tara. Or, well, Past Me did. I wrote her a letter a long time ago (literally, like, three or four years ago) and I ended it with “P.S. I’m really sad today because last night on LOST [character] died tragically and now [other character] is heartbroken. This means nothing to you, but I’m sad anyway.” Fast forward three or four years, and now Tara and I have our complicated TV-watching arrangement. She found the letter two weeks ago while we were both visiting home, presumably stashed in her closet somewhere. When she picked me up so we could drive back to school together, she wordlessly handed me the note. I read it. And then I screamed, right there in the car, in my driveway, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

So that’s where we are.

Vampire Diaries: An Update

So far I’m on episode five of Vampire Diaries. Tara is on episode five of Lost. The common denominator for both of our shows is Ian Somerhalder. And it’s like two completely different ends of the spectrum. In one, he’s Damon… hot, sexy, possibly evil, maybe just broken? (Episode five, guys, come on.) And in the other he’s that idiot who thought performing a tracheostomy on Rose in the pilot was a thing that should happen.

I have to confess something: I had seen a lot of gifs and photosets, so I had a pretty good (if basic) idea of the show before I started watching it. But I had somehow gotten the idea into my head that Ian Somerhalder was named Stefan and Paul Wesley was named Damon. Guys, I literally thought this for years. YEARS. And I’m having a really hard time reversing it. But it’s okay. Tara got Jack and Locke switched around too. So we both suck equally, and that’s how friendship works.

I’m a background character in Twilight. Oh, God.

As you’ll know if you follow me on Twitter, I recently came into some wealth. And by wealth, I mean cookies. And by cookies, I mean the vending machine freaked out and gave me three packages when I asked for one. So tonight are the SAG Awards and the Pro Bowl, and I have more cookies than I know what to do with. As Sundays go, this one is shaping up to be fantastic. The only problem I can see is that the SAG Awards and the game are going to overlap.

Elodie: If I somehow miss seeing Aaron Tveit’s face because of Peyton Manning, I’m going to be angry.
Allison: Seriously.

In other news, the TV Show Challenge is going swimmingly.

Tara’s Thoughts on Lost: “Sayid and Sawyer. This ship sails itself.”
My Thoughts on Vampire Diaries: “You know, popular media has convinced me that a supernatural creature should have fallen in love with me by now. Since it hasn’t happened yet I can only assume I’m a background character in the life of a person who is in that situation. Dammit.”

And the winner is

*drumroll*

For my challenge with Tara, I’ve chosen… Lost. Now, believe me, I agonized over it! Avatar is absolutely incredible, but I had to go with Lost because it was the wonderful, beautiful mindfuck that consumed six years of my life. This was before you guys knew me, but anyone who knew me between 2004 and 2010 knew that my core identifying characteristic was as a lover of Lost. Every Wednesday night at 9 p.m., I’d watch it with my entire family and all of our neighbors would come over, and during commercials my cousin Jase would call me and say, “WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?” because he had his own Lost party going, and I would say, “I DON’T KNOW… wait hang on, I gotta go, Kathryn’s calling,” and my best friend Kathryn would come on the line and say, “BOMBS? TIME TRAVEL? POLAR BEARS?” and I would say, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON EITHER, BUT I LIKE IT…. shit it’s back on BYE,” and we would both hang up immediately, no conversation required, and once I had a tennis match and I came home fifteen minutes late to the Lost party and everybody delegated me to the basement where it was recording on the DVR and they didn’t let me come back until I had caught up.

So I don’t know why I deluded myself into thinking I could pick any other show. It’s always been Lost. Tara has chosen Vampire Diaries. Last night we watched the pilot episodes at the same time. It hasn’t been lost on us that we have odd ways of maintaining our friendship while living in different cities.

Tara: WHAT THE FUCK IS A POLAR BEAR DOING IN THE JUNGLE??
Elodie: I was waiting for that.
Tara: And why was Kate the only one who realized what it was
Tara: It’s not like it’s an obscure species or anything.
Elodie: Once your plane crashes on an island, everything else just kind of rolls right off of you.
Elodie: Aw yeah.
Elodie: GET IT ELENA
Elodie: GET IT CAROLINE
Elodie: Whoa wait no don’t get that
Elodie: Jesus
Elodie: He went all vampire, did he just BITE her?
Tara: I was waiting for that.

Neither of us realized how difficult it would be to keep from divulging certain information about our shows. I almost had a conniption when Tara said something about Locke’s game of backgammon being symbolic. (In a good way. Other Losties will understand. WEEP WITH ME.)

Anyway, I’ll keep you informed. Thanks for sticking with me (and brownie points to anyone who picked up on a Parks and Rec reference in the last few entries. I considered that show for Tara too).

Milestones, Snow, and Deadlines

You guys. I’ve now been doing this blog-once-every-day thing for twenty-five consecutive days. I’m seriously proud of myself. This is going in the record books.

It finally snowed today. I know I’ve been bitching about the cold, but cold without snow just doesn’t seem right somehow, and it was leaving me feeling unsettled. Cold with snow just feels justified. And there’s always the possibility of classes being canceled if it snows hard enough. That doesn’t help me now that it’s the weekend, but it does mean I can stay inside all day and blame the weather.

My hometown had a snow day yesterday, which I knew because of all the Facebook statuses and texts I received. Case in point:

Mom: School was canceled! Again!
Elodie: That’s awesome! How are you spending your day off?!
Mom: Well I think I’m gonna go into work anyway. I want to get some stuff done.
Elodie:
Elodie: You’re not very good at snow days, are you?

When I used to have legitimate snow days, I would cram as many lazy-ass activities into my day as I possibly could. I watched movies. I made batches of cookies and refused to share. (Not really. I’d give those people I live with, like, half.) A while later, I got this text from Allison, who goes to community college up there:

Allison: Classes were canceled! And your mom and Alex have another snow day!
Elodie: You guys are so LUCKY.
Allison: I’m thinking of e-mailing my professor and asking if there’s anything we should be doing. Should I?
Elodie: What is wrong with you people?

Meanwhile, Tara and I have been thinking long and hard about the challenge we set ourselves the other day. The agony of the decision has been keenly felt. We’ve also given ourselves a deadline, because it’s entirely possible that we could continue waffling around indecisively for the rest of eternity if we really put our minds to it.

So tonight at midnight, it’s going down. I’ll let you guys know tomorrow. Never before has either of us taken something so seriously.