I was recently persuaded to download that trivia app, QuizUp, and it was a costly mistake. I swear I haven’t done any homework since I downloaded it eight hours ago. CUE THE FLASHBACK.
Me: I just got it
Me: I immediately started playing, just dove right in
Me: My roommate just heard me yell “SHIT”
Me: I think I accidentally unfriended you?
Me: Hypothetically, how would one change their location on this thing?
Me: Or rather, change it BACK
Me: Because it says I’m playing from American Samoa
Me: This all happened within five minutes of me downloading the app
Tara: Elodie, what the HELL
Tara and I then embarked on a furious battle of Harry Potter trivia knowledge that got more and more intense, with the result that we were eventually hitting buttons and choosing answers before we had even processed the question. At one point Tara said Harry’s aunt’s name was Pam.
Tara: I don’t even want to talk about that one.
Me: We all have regrets.
Tara: I thought they were going to ask me about Marge so I freaked out when I saw all the P names.
Me: You don’t have to explain yourself to ME, I said James Potter’s nickname was Padfoot.
SOMEONE HELP ME. I WAS HAVING ENOUGH TROUBLE DOING PRODUCTIVE THINGS EVEN BEFORE THIS CAME INTO MY LIFE. NOW I AM TRAPPED. FOREVER. I’VE ALREADY ACCEPTED DEFEAT.
The semester’s almost over, which means it’s time to say good-bye to my lit class peopled entirely with hot English majors. In the spirit of that, here’s this:
Me: I’m in fantasy lit and there’s a guy I’m too scared to sit next to because he’s so cute, so I got the shitty left-hand desk in the corner instead.
Tara: Your lit class is like a mystical land to me, filled with abnormally attractive people discussing literature in an intelligent manner.
Me: It just got more mystical, the professor brought doughnuts.
Me: Oh my God I think I took the doughnut the cute guy wanted, he was right behind me and he groaned as soon as I took my doughnut.
Me: Sucks to suck.
Tara: You should have told him that.
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s the expression I gave him as I took the doughnut back to my corner and ate it slowly and vindictively.
[Insert long conversation in which the two of us debate whether or not we’re cool, which ultimately leads us to conclude…]
Tara: I’m glad we’re mutually awesome.
Elodie: Friendship is all about being mutually awesome.
Elodie: I’m going to put that shit on a mug or something.
Tara: And then I need to get the same mug and they can be our friendship mugs.
Elodie: FRIENDSHIP MUGS
Elodie: BUT WE DON’T DRINK COFFEE
Tara: IF THAT DOESN’T SUM UP OUR FRIENDSHIP THEN I DON’T KNOW WHAT DOES
When I’m tired, out of ideas, or just plain lazy, I copy and paste my conversations with Tara into WordPress and call it a post.
Tara: Here’s a link to Joey Richter on Glee
Elodie: THANKS. I’m class right now but I’m going to use the promise of that spectacle to get me through it.
Elodie: I’m having one of those moments where I’m like “holy shit I really need to start paying attention” and then I continue not paying attention.
Elodie: …I’m IN class
Elodie: Not “I’m class”
Elodie: Actually I am class
Elodie: I personify what it means to be classy
Elodie: Oh my God I need to pay attention.
And the best of our recent Vampire Diaries/Lost TV Challenge Adventure Thing (and I say “best of” because a lot of the time it’s just us exchanging fragments like “HOLY SHIT” and “WHAT WAS THAT” and “DID HE DIE”):
Tara: I’d hate to be elected the unofficial leader of the island
Tara: I’d probably kill everyone
Elodie: Dammit Elena, you’re bleeding all over the food
Elodie: If I found somebody’s diary I would read it so hard. But that’s why I’m not on a TV show. I’d be a really unlikeable protagonist.
Tara: I wish I could catch fish with my bare hands. I don’t know what I would do with that talent, but I want it.
Elodie: He’s trying to force her to admit he’s a vampire.
Elodie: “SAY IT. OUT LOUD.”
Elodie: …I am so sorry.