Just so we’re all on the same page here, Tara is on the Lost episode “Exodus: Part 1,” and I’m on the first episode of season two of Vampire Diaries.
Elodie: “I don’t need a babysitter.” You just tried to turn yourself into a vampire, Jeremy, you’re getting a babysitter.
Tara: “The worst part’s over.”
Tara: hahahahhaha yeah I don’t think so.
Elodie: “Doppelganger Hijinks” is what this episode should have been called
Tara: How does Jin who doesn’t speak English fit in better with the group than I would if I was on the island?
Elodie: Oh my God are they about to have sex or are they going to murder each other
Elodie: Are there… other supernatural creatures?
Tara: You mean other than witches and vampires?
Elodie: Mason talking about “the curse”
Elodie: Tyler’s aggression issues
Elodie: TYLER Posey
Elodie: TYLER Hoechlin
Elodie: IT ALL ADDS UP
Tara: I like how all the main characters hug while all the other people on the island just wander around the background.
Elodie: Yeah, nobody likes them
Elodie: You skirted the werewolf question, or as it will henceforth be known “the Tyler Trifecta Question”
Tara: Did I? Sorry
Elodie: Goddamn you
Tara: I CAN’T BELIEVE AARON TVEIT WAS IN PREMIUM RUSH
Elodie: I KNOW WHAT THE HELL
Tara: LIKE I WANT TO RE-WATCH THAT ENTIRE MOVIE JUST FOR THE SUPER SHORT SCENE HE’S PROBABLY IN
Elodie: I ACTUALLY DID THAT AFTER I FOUND OUT
Elodie: Remember when I said I didn’t care about the guy that played Enjolras because all I knew about him was that he was on Gossip Girl?
Tara: I do remember that
Tara: How things have changed
Elodie: It was a simpler time
I’m still as obsessed with Aaron Tveit as I ever was. I watched him singing “Run Away With Me” and I think I more or less had a conniption from the sheer amount of swooning I did.
Elodie: I was just perusing an interview with Aaron, and I came across this youtube comment: “if he doesn’t win a Tony he should quit theatre. and do porn.”
Elodie: And then this:
Elodie: “More like ‘Aaron Tvake off your clothes please’ hahahaha I’m so lonely”
Elodie: The Aaron Tveit fandom really speaks to me
Tara: It does to me too
Just two weeks until the Oscars, people! WE CAN DO THIS. I will once again find myself watching the Red Carpet Event for specific reasons, and then feeling ripped off when I chose the wrong channel to watch because all my people gave interviews elsewhere. The Oscars are on the 24th, which is the last Sunday until spring break for me. So I know already that spending five hours watching the Oscars will be the catalyst of a week in which nothing gets done.
(Also, “Elodie Tveit” is possibly the worst name ever. I’d be dooming myself to a life of explaining and pronouncing and spelling and re-spelling. Plus, people would hear the name and assume I’m really exotic and worldly and can speak at least four languages. “Someone whose name is so utterly incomprehensible MUST be interesting!” they would say. My actual presence would always be a letdown, because I am not exotic in the slightest, and the only place I have ever been that isn’t the U.S. is Canada. So I have only ever gone from North America to Even More Northern America.)
Tara: I have an assigned seat in my physics class next to a kid that looks exactly like Nick Jonas.
Elodie: You’re living the dream.
Elodie: Wait, are you living the dream?
Elodie: Which one is he again?
Elodie: OH, that one.
Tara: I also had to look him up to so I could figure out which one he is.
Elodie: We’re so cool.
Tara: I literally had the thought “oh my god that guy looks like a Jonas brother, I just don’t know which one.”
Elodie: Hahahaha oh man
Elodie: That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.
Elodie: Have you had casual conversation yet? Does he sound like a Jonas brother?
Tara: I think he tried to talk to me but I thought he was talking to the girls behind me so I just laughed awkwardly and looked away and then he never tried again.
Elodie: Looks like you burned that bridge.
Elodie: I’m now making an official judgment that Nick Jonas is probably the cutest of the Jonas Brothers, now that I’m looking at them all together. One of the them is the hottest and another is the derpiest, but I’m proclaiming him the cutest, so good job on the assigned seating.
Tara: I’m now thinking that if Nick and Joe had an incestuous baby that’s what he looks like.
Tara: But he looks more like Nick than Joe.
Elodie: Oh my God.
Elodie: Well that’s definitely the best combination of incestuous Jonas.
Elodie: Wait Joe’s the hot one right
Tara: It really is the best combination.
Elodie: I’m glad we got this all sorted out.
Elodie: You really are living the dream.
For anyone who randomly stumbled onto this blog by accident and is confused by what looks like a really loud, inappropriate, and confusing dialogue between two people: my friend Tara and I recently embarked on a TV Show Challenge Adventure Experience Thing. We both chose a TV show and are forcing the other person to watch it. We watch them simultaneously and message each other our thoughts, usually in fragmented, broken speech like two people who are only grappling with the English language. I chose Lost. She chose The Vampire Diaries. These are our stories. (DUN DUN.)
Elodie: Colonial Stefan and Damon. *swoon*
Elodie: OH MY GOD
Tara: OH MY GOD!
Tara: WHY IS NOBODY STOPPING JIN FROM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THAT GUY
Elodie: IS DAMON SETTING THEM ON FIRE
Tara: SO MANY THINGS ARE HAPPENING
Elodie: “Be careful who you invite into the house.”
Elodie: This is just a point of observation but I don’t think I’ve ever actually invited someone into my house, ever. I’ve never been like, “Yeah, come on in,” even casually, I just open the door and assume they know what to do.
Elodie: If a vampire was trying to con his way into my house it would probably get really awkward really fast.
Tara: Locke is such a troll
Elodie: JEREMY SHE’S LICKING BLOOD OFF YOUR FACE. I’m not an expert or anything but I feel like that’s a red flag.
Tara: Good guy Jack tells everyone you have the flu when really you’re going through heroin withdrawals.
Tara: Oh my GOd in the next episode Jack and Sayid torture Sawyer?!?
Elodie: THERE IT IS
Elodie: That’s the kind of thing that can really throw a wrench in an OTP
Elodie: And open up the door to a really kinky three-ways
Elodie: Singular, not multiple
Elodie: Although I suppose we could have an…
Elodie: ISLAND ORGY
Tara: I VOTE FOR THAT.
Reading my posts, you might be wondering if I ever talk to anyone other than Tara. And I swear that I do! I have other friends! Probably! (You can’t know this for sure, but all the evidence points to me at least having a smidgeon of friend-like people in my arsenal.)
It’s just that the Facebook chats I have with Tara are strange, silly, long, adventurous, usually coherent, and always good for at least a gigglesnort. Conversations with others can be lackluster, and short. And that’s not anyone else’s fault; it’s mine. It takes a special kind of person to be able to hold a decent Facebook chat with me. I’m difficult and lazy. A disproportionate amount of conversations end with someone saying “oh,” and we wind up with something like this:
Elodie: Guess who I saw the other day.
Elodie: [Guy who went to our high school]
Sarah: no way
Sarah: what was he up to??
Sarah: did you say hi??
Sarah: how was he?!
Lilly: you have to put in your personal information before you can use it
Elodie: hang on
Elodie: I accidentally said I was a man
Elodie: HEY! Congrats on the game!
Alex: it was wet as piss outside
Allison: We should all plan on hanging out Friday night. I don’t care what we do, but I am getting us all together!
Tara: Whoa Allison’s taking charge
Elodie: I nominate Allison as new team leader in charge of the group.
Holly: I concur.
Tara: So what should we do?
Tara: Whenever we come back for winter break, I forget what there is to do in [City]
Elodie: You know, if nothing else we could just go out for dinner and see what occurs to us there.
Elodie: the best plans are made spontaneously
Tara: I agree
Allison: I’m digging that plan! I nominate Elodie as new team leader!
Tara: Yeah Elodie should make all the plans for that night
Elodie: I accept.
Elodie: You’re all going to regret this.
Allison: Uh oh.
Elodie: And now I’ve been INCREDIBLY, RIDICULOUSLY spoiled for Criminal Minds tonight, which NORMALLY wouldn’t be a big deal because of its procedural nature. But this is THE episode where we finally meet Reid’s girlfriend, and I just… gah.
Elodie: Also, in my Native American studies class I had to choreograph a tribal dance.
Elodie: This day has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Tara: Oh god
Tara: A tribal dance?
Elodie: I KNOW
Elodie: I waved my arms a lot.
Tara: That sounds tribal.
Elodie: Oh it was.
Elodie: Well, it was something.