This class shall henceforth be known as The Class of Beautiful People

I’m in a class called Fantasy Literature (which is AMAZING) and I have begun to realize that this whole thing is actually a social experiment. There’s no other explanation for how every single person in this damn class is so torturously attractive. I know, boohoo. Every week I get to listen to hot people discuss books. What a crisis. But I’m SUSPICIOUS. This is some kind of statistical anomaly, right? There CANNOT be this many good-looking people in one class. I took the discussion to Tara.

Me: Today I was in a group with yet another hot guy in fantasy lit, and as if THAT WASN’T ENOUGH we were also working with this girl with a British accent. I mean jeez. What was I even bringing to the table here?
Tara: Was she cute too?
Me: Yes.
Tara: Dear God.

Yesterday I got paired up with a guy who looked like a young Jim Sturgess. What are you doing to me, Universe? WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?

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The Supermoon (and how we failed at it)

Tara: Hey, sorry I was gone for so long… my mom and my brother were both like “IT’S THE SUPER MOON TONIGHT YOU SHOULD COME SEE IT WITH US” and they implied it would only take like ten minutes so I was like sure whatever but then it was an hour long trip…
Elodie: Wow
Elodie: That sounds like a trek
Tara: It was, I was really unhappy
Elodie: Alex and I wanted to see it
Elodie: But we couldn’t find it
Elodie: We couldn’t find the moon
Tara: We found it but I guess we missed its really cool moment, so it wasn’t all that impressive
Elodie: I didn’t realize it had a cool moment
Elodie: I was really unprepared for this
Tara: I was expecting the moon from Majora’s Mask so maybe my expectations were really unreasonable.

Of course Locke is the baby whisperer

Tara and I are still watching Lost and Vampire Diaries. I don’t know what Tara’s thoughts are on Lost (although I can tell you that show ruined my life because I’ll never get over the fact that it ended), but as for Vampire Diaries I am always pleasantly surprised with the direction of its plot. It never does the predictable thing, and I like that. I also love Caroline. I also love all the minor characters, and then they die. So here’s how that’s going:

Elodie: I just had this image of Katherine knocking back liquor at a bar someplace while Elena is the weathered bartender listening to her story.

and

Tara: Shannon’s using Vincent to find Walt
Tara: If someone tried to use one of my dogs to find me it would not work at all.

and

Tara: DAMN BOONE YOU ARE LOOKING WAY TOO ATTRACTIVE FOR A FUNERAL
Tara: And “death sucks,” that was your opening line?
Elodie: He thought about it a lot on the way over.

and

Tara: Of course Locke is the baby whisperer

and

Elodie: I love this Slater guy, which means he’s probably going to die

and

Elodie: If you wanted to fit in somewhere and live a normal life why the hell would you move to Mystic Falls

and

Tara: NO
Tara: NO
Tara: NO
Tara: NO
Tara: OH MY GOD, IS SHE DEAD?
Tara: THAT’S SO NOT FAIR
Elodie: I know. Thank God Slater’s still alive.
Elodie: NO, GODDAMMIT!
Tara: I was just thinking “wait for it…”
Elodie: I fell in love with another minor character and it cost me.
Elodie: This was a sad night all around.
Tara: That it was.

And finally

Elodie: Earlier I told my mom you were going to watch the episode where [character] dies, and she was like, “You’re only that far?” So she too believes we’re not watching TV fast enough.
Tara: I want to finish Lost by the end of the summer, that’s my goal.
Elodie: And I want to catch up with Vampire Diaries and Game of Thrones.
Elodie: How can people say we’re not ambitious

An Insider’s Look at My Life

I Tweeted recently about feeling like I have to explain everything that pops up on my search history whenever someone uses my laptop to Google something. So today, to make up for this week’s lapse in blogging, I’m diving in. I’m going to give you guys all those nitty-gritty details. I’m giving you my recent search history, unabridged. I’m not even sure what I’ve Googled recently, so LET’S DO THIS.

“Hannibal”

Oh, right. I literally just looked that up two seconds ago as a result of this conversation:

Tara: Maybe watching Hannibal will cheer me up.
Elodie: I haven’t watched it, but somehow I doubt it.

“The Virgin Mary marian miracles”

I’m writing an essay on the medieval preoccupation with Mary. (They basically wrote Mary fanfiction. Mary/Humanity OTP.)

“Henry Cavill”

OH RIGHT. YES. I had just realized that Henry Cavill, who plays Charles Brandon on The Tudors (of “we-haven’t-had-any-sex-scenes-in-a-while-so-let’s-just-have-a-Charles-Brandon-sex-scene-for-no-reason” fame) is going to be Superman in Man of Steel.

“Henry Cavill pronunciation”

Yeeeah. I realized I wouldn’t be able to articulate this to anyone because cah-VILLE? CAH-vul?

“Eve in Paradise Lost john milton”

Back to the essay.

“dylan o’brien maze runnerljw”

That’s literally the Google search. I got too excited towards the end there BECAUSE DYLAN O’BRIEN IS GOING TO BE IN THE MAZE RUNNER MOVIE AND I’M JUST SO PROUD OF HIS  ACCOMPLISHMENTS. If you don’t know who Dylan O’Brien is, he’s Stiles in Teen Wolf and I have a vested interest in his career.

“Maze Runner plot”

I read the book a long time ago, and I forget what happens.

“macklemore”

The result of an ongoing investigation triggered by the MTV Movie Awards, during which this happened:

Allison: MACKLEMORE! YES!
Elodie: I’m going to be honest here, prior to this I did not know what Macklemore was
Elodie: …
Elodie: And based on this performance I’m still not sure
Elodie: Is he a rapper or a one-man Mariachi band?

“the flux”

I was watching The Tudors. I was unfamiliar with this term. I found it refers to dysentery. It was a lovely episode.

“tumblr queue not working”

Aaaaand if I had to pick a single Google search item that sums up my life, this would be it, because I use Google primarily to type in my problems (usually incoherently) and see what solutions Google spits back at me. I hope this was semi-enjoyable. What’re the last five things you searched? DON’T BE AFRAID.

This is a recurring problem

Last night I continued my foray into Aaron Tveit’s filmography (this has been an ongoing project for months) and I watched Girl Walks Into a Bar, which… wow. I’m not even going to say anything. HOWEVER:

Elodie: I’m having that problem again where I can’t look at his face because it’s so beautiful.
Tara: I’m imagining you meeting him someday and just covering his face with your hands and going “sorry I can’t.”
Elodie: AHAHAHA.
Elodie: Oh dear. This could happen.
Tara: Exactly.

In the spirit of March Madness…

Elodie: I’m watching the basketball game
Elodie: The Michigan players are literally just running in circles in the wrong direction on the court because they’re trying to waste time, but I keep thinking, “That’s exactly what I looked like when I played basketball, except that was me trying my best.”
Tara: Oh my God, I was the worst basketball player
Elodie: So was I
Elodie: You know what though? Sometimes I look back fondly on those times, because our entire circle of friends played each other at various points in basketball and we didn’t even know each other yet. We probably guarded each other and stole the ball from each other and maybe even secretly trash talked each other on the sidelines, because we were twelve years old and the game was the most important thing, and we did all of that not knowing we would all grow up to form a magical union of friendship and play video games and drink shitty beer and make dick jokes at 2 in the morning.
Elodie: Huh. That started off poignant and then it went somewhere else entirely.
Tara: I still think it was beautiful.

As a side note, Tara could not have been the worst basketball player, because I was actually the worst basketball player. My teammates secretly ranked everyone. I was actually ranked second-worst, but then the girl who actually was the worst quit, and I had to accept my new title.

Sawyer’s Glasses: A Eulogy

This gif (source here) will serve as a guide for the following conversation, because Tara finally watched the season finale of Lost, season one. Just look at his glasses. Try and look past the paragon of manly perfection that is his face and look at those things.

Anyway. Now that you’ve got the background story…

Elodie: I think we should take a moment to reflect upon a loss we suffered tonight.
Elodie: Sawyer’s spectacular dipshit glasses.
Elodie: They really should have prioritized while the raft was going down. “QUICK SOMEBODY HIDE THE GLASSES.”
Tara: “GIVE THEM THE KID, MAYBE THEY’LL LEAVE THE GLASSES.”
Elodie: “NO NOT THE RAFT! THE GLASSES ARE STILL ON BOARD!”
Tara: “THE GLASSES ARE GONE, WE ALL MIGHT AS WELL JUST DROWN NOW.”
Elodie: I’m sorry I just spoiled the real cliffhanger of the season one finale.
Elodie: The fate of the glasses. But the sooner you know the sooner you can accept, and move on.
Tara: I understand, you had to rip the band-aid off.
Elodie: Those glasses gave us some chuckles. Some laughs, some good times. Mostly at Sawyer’s expense. And in the end, they gave us their life.
Tara: They gave us an entire episode subplot.
Elodie: Amen.