Happy Valentine’s Day! I have a platonic friend date tonight, which is the best kind, I think, so let’s get this show rolling. Tara and I have spent the day posting Valentine’s memes on each other’s walls. My personal favorite was this one:
Tara: We’re clogging up everybody’s newsfeeds.
Elodie: I thought about not doing that, but then I decided against it.
In the middle of my Biology of Sex lecture, some guy ran in and proposed to his girlfriend. It was so UTTERLY FANTASTIC that when she said yes, everyone burst into applause. Far from being mad, our professor (who is approximately 70 years old) said, “Well, I guess we know what THEY’LL be doing tonight.” We were coming off some rather shocking information about hermaphroditic reproduction in sea slugs, so this was very much needed.
I’ve got to run though, because this box of chocolates isn’t going to eat itself. Happy Valentine’s Day, to everyone who has a significant other and to everyone who bought themselves chocolate (ahem) and are planning on sharing WITH NOBODY.
There’s nothing quite like acquiring a new obsession. I can literally document the moment this obsession took root and bloomed, because I messaged Tara and proceeded to take her down with me.
Elodie: I’m on the Les Mis tag
Elodie: on tumblr
Elodie: Apparently there are deleted scenes that involve Enjolras?
Elodie: Why are people taunting me with this knowledge?
Tara: We need to see those.
Elodie: I will not rest until I do.
Tara: I’m counting on you.
After extensive searching, I deduced that there were not, in fact, deleted scenes floating around, but there was an interview circulating that involved Aaron Tveit, who plays Enjolras and does it beautifully.
Elodie: Okay, so I found the interview.
Elodie: Do you ever get scared to watch something with the real-life actor because you’re afraid it will shatter the illusion of the character?
Tara: YES I know exactly what you’re talking about.
Elodie: Here goes nothing
Elodie: …ti-VAIT. Well, there’s that mystery solved.
Elodie: The interviewer is super awkward.
Tara: Ugh I hate that.
And approximately two minutes later…
Elodie: AARON TVEIT IS ACTUALLY A PERFECT HUMAN MAN.
Elodie: HE JUST LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Elodie: Also I’m like 99% sure the only reason the interviewer is being awkward is because he’s in love with Aaron.
Tara: I need to see this interview.
And so I gave her the link.
Tara: Oh my god it should not be legal to be that attractive.
Elodie: I literally have to keep pausing it because he’s too perfect to behold all at once.
Tara: I just paused it and Aaron was making a derp face BUT HE STILL LOOKED GOOD.
Tara: The interviewer was just flat-out flirting with him at that part where Aaron was teaching him how to pronounce Enjolras
Elodie: It’s hard not to, with all that sexy French and the sexy singing
Tara: This is going to take me two hours to watch because I keep freaking out over his face and then I have to pause.
Elodie: SO DO I. HE SMILES AND I HAVE TO PAUSE AND GET MY SHIT TOGETHER.
Tara: I just realized how weird the jean shirt thing is that he’s wearing, but it works somehow
Elodie: You’re right! Holy shit, what is that and why is it working
Tara: He could be wearing a potato sack and I wouldn’t question it.
Elodie: I would welcome that.
Tara: Me too.
Elodie: THIS MUST BE WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE.
I have had a smattering (okay, okay, a copious amount) of real, actual crushes on real, actual people. (Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Cough.) But I also frequently develop those massive obsessions with fictional characters that are only slightly less attainable than JGL. Come on, this is the Internet. We all know that feel.
I present to you that list:
1. Sirius Black
2. Fred Weasley
3. Kartik (from the Gemma Doyle trilogy)
4. Bernard (from The Santa Clause. I went through this phase from approximately the ages of 10-16, and I never truly grew out of it)
5. Jack Sparrow
6. Flynn Rider
7. Sayid (from Lost… until that last season, he was literally the only character that didn’t throw all logic out the window at the slightest provocation. Also those EYES)
8. Rudy Steiner (The Book Thief)
9. Sawyer (also from Lost. Good God)
10. Sam (Dulé Hill’s role in Holes… I don’t know why I picked the most obscure minor character to develop a crush on when there were loads of perfectly good juvenile delinquents to choose from, but the heart wants what the heart wants)
11. Finny (from A Separate Peace)
12. Enjolras (from Les Misérables)
…And what do they all have in common? They all (spoilers. Seriously, turn back) DIE, in some form or fashion. I didn’t even realize that until I was about halfway done with this list! Jesus! They all die! What’s up with that? With the exception of Bernard the Head Elf, because The Santa Clause would have taken a bit of a dark turn if THAT had happened. But you know what? I consider him dead. He’s dead to me, because where the hell was he for The Santa Clause 3? Scheduling conflicts, my ass. Scheduling conflicts TOYING WITH THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF IMPRESSIONABLE VIEWERS, more like. Thanks, Bernard. You’re a god among men. (No, really. You are. I didn’t mean any of that. Let me love you?)