I’m doing homework. It’s a Saturday night, and I’m trying to make a map of America in the 1700s. (I’m a lot of fun at parties.) Our professor urged us to do some serious library research for this, but I’ve settled for Googling the name of the city in question and then clicking the Wikipedia article. I don’t know how I manage it, but I’m somehow the best and worst student. I’ll do my homework on a Saturday night, but I won’t do it well.
Anyway, I keep catching little snippets of news from whichever city I’m looking up. So I’m seeing everything from this
Personally, I’d rather be in Delaware right now.
This happened today.
Elodie: I recommended my mom read The Book Thief. She hates, hates, hates, HATES sad books. She’s going to disown me.
Tara: Are you secretly Satan?
But you know what else happened today? The Defense of Marriage Act was overturned, Prop 8 was dismissed on standing, and early (very early) (ridiculously early) this morning, Senator Wendy Davis’ filibuster killed the Texas abortion bill SB5. Senator Davis stood for 12.5 hours without eating, drinking, peeing, or pausing the debate. To put this in perspective, I watched the filibuster for eight hours, and during that time I peed like three times and ate an entire sleeve of Vanilla Oreos. I started texting Tara around the time that they began debating whether or not Davis’ argument was germane, and by the time the crowd had started screaming for 10+ minutes to push the filibuster past midnight, we were both texting variations of “adljwlkhgfkh2” back and forth to each other with no explanation provided.
I think this blog is just going to be an outlet that I use to freak out about things that I like. I say this because today, 1) a new Aaron Tveit photoshoot came out, and so did 2) the Desolation of Smaug trailer, which included 3) Evangeline Lilly (a.k.a. Kate from Lost) as the elf Tauriel, and also 4) Michelle Chamuel just got saved on The Voice, and she’s my favorite, as well as having gone to my college and also being friends with 5) Team Starkid. All my interests are overlapping and I’M LOVING IT.
In other news (or, well, speaking of which), I’m supposed to go to the Darren Criss concert Thursday but I’m sick and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to rally. Why are the fates so obsessed with keeping me away from Darren Criss? First they didn’t let me get a VIP pass, and now apparently even general admission is just too close for comfort. WHY.
FictionalDeathsIWillNeverGetOver is trending on Twitter. I’ve composed my own list, which looks a lot like a previous list of fictional characters I made, but with a few additions. I feel inclined to tell you that there will be spoilers, because I was looking through the top Tweets on Twitter for ideas for this and I spoiled myself for Vampire Diaries, Dexter, and Doctor Who. You’d think I would’ve stopped after the first couple, but that’s just not the way I do things. I troop valiantly onward until I am emotionally crippled by the sheer amount of spoilers and difficult childhood memories.
1. Will Smith’s dog from I Am Legend
2. Littlefoot’s mother
3. Charlie Pace
4. Rudy Steiner
5. Every single person who ever died in Harry Potter
6. Gabriel from The Patriot
7. Enjolras (OBVIOUSLY) plus all of Les Amis
8. Jenny from Forrest Gump
9. Ellie from Up
10. The old couple from Titanic
11. Winnie Foster
12. Augustus Waters
13. Old Dan and Little Ann
14. Amber from House
15. Bailey from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
16. Pippa Cross from A Great and Terrible Beauty
17. Finny from A Separate Peace
18. Goose from Top Gun
19. Lennie from Of Mice and Men
20. Alaska Young
21. Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web
And this probably shouldn’t count but it DOES IN MY BOOK because when ASH TURNED TO STONE IN THE POKEMON MOVIE I SWEAR IT SNAPPED MY HEART RIGHT IN HALF.
I am so tired. So. Tired. I feel like there are people inside my head just banging on things with hammers. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that last night I made a pact with everyone that I would not go to bed until I had finished writing my eight-page paper, and things started to get weird.
Around 11:30, there was the great Michigan Internet snafu, wherein everybody’s Internet just went down for no reason. It felt like being cut off from the world. I was convinced I was being punished for something in a manner befitting my crime, which was apparently of the highest caliber, because cutting off my Internet mid-essay was like cutting off my arm. Those brief Tumblr breaks were ALL I HAD. DO YOU HEAR ME? They were my everything.
Around 2 in the morning, I finished the essay, but I was also dancing a little bit and headbanging to Sheila E., so I channeled all that energy into doing more homework, which is a decision I have never made before in my entire life. At 4 in the morning, I went to bed, which wreaked havoc on my life when I had to get up a few hours later. I crawled into the dining hall and was immediately yelled at (okay, okay, sternly admonished) for not using a pair of tongs to grab my muffin. The last muffin. I was not contaminating the other muffins. Because there were no other muffins. And if there had been I wasn’t going to touch them all before choosing the one that felt right.
But I SURVIVED. Albeit in a wide-eyed, shell-shocked, why-did-I-just-do-that way.
Tonight started off simply.
Tara: I just saw what you reblogged on tumblr.
Tara: “I think you can tell a lot about a person by which death in Harry Potter hurt them the most.”
Tara: So which Harry Potter death hurt you the most
Elodie: Siruis. You?
Tara: Sirius, and also Fred.
Elodie: That really is a great question.
Tara: It is. I’m going to ask everyone I know that question now.
Elodie: Hahaha you should
Trust me when I say that it started off as a halfhearted suggestion. A joke, if you will. A joke that mushroomed into something more. The next two hours were frantic, to say the least, as we each texted and/or Facebook messaged at least fifteen people.
Elodie: I just asked Ace, he says Dobby.
Tara: Melissa says Fred.
Elodie: I’m going to ask Liam.
Tara: My roommate said Fred also.
Elodie: Liam says Dobby.
Elodie: Then he said “HOLLAH,” so I think that conversation is over.
Tara: You can’t really go anywhere from there.
Elodie: Carmen says Sirius too.
Elodie: I’m going to ask Calvin, and here’s how I’m going to phrase it: “You’re the worst texter ever but I have a question and it is URGENT.”
Elodie: I mean, you’d answer that right?
Tara: I would.
Elodie: Why aren’t people getting back to me faster? It’s 9 p.m. on a Friday night, what the hell could they be doing.
Tara: Who the hell has plans on Friday night
Elodie: Freaks, that’s who.
Tara: And we pride ourselves on being completely normal.
Tara: Even my mom isn’t answering me.
Elodie: Shit Calvin texted me back. I didn’t think that would actually work. Now he’s probably expecting an actual serious question like “HOW DO YOU PERFORM A TRACHEOTOMY THIS IS QUITE SERIOUS.”
Tara: Though texting him that mid-emergency would be kind of a long shot. Valerie says Sirius.
Tara: AND SO DOES MY MOM. YES.
Elodie: I should ask my mom. Although she’s only read up to Goblet of Fire.
Tara: All she could really say is Cedric then.
Elodie: UM EXCUSE ME
Elodie: I THINK YOU’RE FORGETTING SOME CRUCIAL CHARACTERS
Elodie: Quirrell. Two unnamed unicorns. The Serpent of Slytherin.
Tara: I apologize.
Elodie: Oh my God my mom just asked what I was doing, and I said, “Texting people about Harry Potter, it got out of hand,” and then I explained, and she said, “For me it was Sirius and Dumbledore.” And I was like, “Mom, you haven’t read those books, and I’m 80% sure you haven’t seen the movies, how could you possibly know that?”
Elodie: And here’s what she says: “I’m not sure. I just know.”
Tara: SHE KNOWS WHAT’S UP
Elodie: Kathryn says Dobby.
Elodie: Calvin says Dumbledore.
Tara: …Should we be keeping like a running tally?
Elodie: That would’ve been a good idea.
This conversation went on for a really, really long time. Ultimately, however, most people said Sirius, or Dobby. No one said the Serpent of Slytherin. What say you?
My friend Allison is trying to explain this book, Eternal Eden, to me over the phone.
ALLISON: Okay, so there’s this book I got on my iPod, and it’s… okay, well, it’s kind of like Twilight, but—
ELODIE: Stop right there.
ALLISON: It’s good, seriously.
ELODIE: No it’s not.
ALLISON: I’m going to start explaining it to you now.
ELODIE: I’M NOT LISTENING!
ALLISON: So there’s this girl, she’s in college, and they like to stress the fact that she’s ordinary and can’t get guys. But then there are like nine guys willing to go out with her, so—
ELODIE: That sounds familiar.
ALLISON: You ARE listening! I knew you would. Anyway, so she meets this boy that she hates because he’s arrogant and stuff, and then they go swimming and something happens and he leaves because he can’t be with her, and his friends leave her a note—they’re immortal, that’s important—
ELODIE: Wait, what?
ALLISON: And so they become a couple, and he makes her immortal too because she almost dies, but they can’t be together because the guys in charge choose the person you marry.
ALLISON: And they almost have sex, but they can’t because when you do your eyes turn bright blue.
ALLISON: You should read it.