I’m So Smooth Sometimes I Think I Should Just Date Myself

There is a boy I sit next to in one of my classes whose name I don’t know. You’re probably thinking he’s noteworthy because I find him attractive, and you would be right. Sometimes he wears a suit to class just for the hell of it, and his face is very agreeable, and amazing things are happening with his hair. Our entire relationship consists of him glancing up when I come bursting through the door at full sprint with just seconds to spare. Sometimes I ask him for today’s date, but mostly I just appreciate that we occupy the same physical space three times a week.

Anyway, my professor the other day was lecturing about two lovers in our text who had been reading a book about sexy times, looked up, made eye contact, and gone at it like a couple of rabbits. But our listless, apathy-riddled group of Monday morning zombies was just not getting this. The professor was agitated. He was practically jumping up and down. “This is important stuff!” he cried. “All they did was LOOK AT EACH OTHER and then they wordlessly embarked on a passionate love affair! You’re college students! You know what that’s about! Okay, everybody–RIGHT NOW, turn to the person next to you and communicate to them with your eyes the phrase ‘I WANT TO HAVE A LOVE AFFAIR WITH YOU.’ DO IT.”

So long story short, the cute guy in question and I shared a sideways glance and then we both just kind of snorted. The romantic potential is off the charts.

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One thought on “I’m So Smooth Sometimes I Think I Should Just Date Myself

  1. Reblogged this on poohloversunite and commented:
    This TOTALLY reminds me of this thing that was in my lesson yesterday…. ” People don’t always say exactly what they mean—they can lie, misspeak, misinterpret, be ironic. And two people talking aren’t always on the same wavelength, either. Say, for example, Matt has a crush on Sarah. Day and night he thinks about Sarah, refreshing her Facebook page, reading her backlog of tweets (hoping to see @MattIsPhat pop up just once), wondering whether she knows he exists.
    The next time he sees her, she’s coming out of the supermarket, and all he can think to say is, “Hey.” And then she says, “Nice shirt.” Oh snaaaaaap! Nice shirt! She likes him! He knew that shirt looked good on him! Wedding bells are ringing!
    Of course, Sarah was just trying to sarcastically point out that his shirt was on inside out. But when two people are talking, they’ve each got their own ways of hearing things.”

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