The semester’s almost over, which means it’s time to say good-bye to my lit class peopled entirely with hot English majors. In the spirit of that, here’s this:
Me: I’m in fantasy lit and there’s a guy I’m too scared to sit next to because he’s so cute, so I got the shitty left-hand desk in the corner instead.
Tara: Your lit class is like a mystical land to me, filled with abnormally attractive people discussing literature in an intelligent manner.
Me: It just got more mystical, the professor brought doughnuts.
Me: Oh my God I think I took the doughnut the cute guy wanted, he was right behind me and he groaned as soon as I took my doughnut.
Me: Sucks to suck.
Tara: You should have told him that.
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s the expression I gave him as I took the doughnut back to my corner and ate it slowly and vindictively.