I almost hit a deer on the highway the other day. I have never hit an animal before. I have, however, been hit by a bird and also a human, but those are stories for another day.
Anyway, hitting a deer is just one of those things I basically accepted would happen to me eventually. It just sounds like something I would do. And it’s not like I’m happy about this fate that’s been bestowed upon me. I like deer. I’ve seen Bambi.
I’m usually vigilant, but on this day, I was rocking out. I had the Les Mis soundtrack on full blast and I was really nailing it doing both voices for The Confrontation. Then the deer just bolted out of nowhere. And it’s not like there was a lot of traffic and it seized its opportunity. There were only two cars for miles, just me and this guy in the other lane somewhere behind me, and the deer thought, “Now, I need to cross the road, but how can we make this fun?” And as Jean Valjean sang, “All I did was STEAL… SOME… BREAD!” I screamed and braked lightly and swerved a little to the right.
I’ve always wondered what I would do if a deer darted out in front of me, and on that day I discovered that what I would do is be awesome. It was like a separate person took over. In a span of seconds, I checked my rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind me, I braked just enough, and I swerved ever so slightly to the right so that the deer, who was going left, would have time to get out of the way. And I TRIUMPHED. And the guy that was a little bit behind me in the other lane sped up so we were right next to each other, and looked over at me and mouthed “holy shit” and gave me a thumbs-up. So my greatness was confirmed.