John Mulaney Hinders My Productivity (Not the First Time, Either)

I was just trying to get some writing done when I decided to put John Mulaney on in the background in another tab. You know, just to have something to listen to. But then I got too involved in the John Mulaney. Now it’s twenty minutes later, and I haven’t gotten anything done (I think the argument could be made that I actually got less than nothing done), and I’m crying actual, literal tears of laughter and trying not to squeak out any weird, breathy half-laughs or my hall mates will think I’m insane. (I wouldn’t blame them. What would you think if for, like, four hours, there was silence, and then all of a sudden you hear hysterical, out-of-breath giggling coming from the walls?)

Today it was a balmy 47 degrees Fahrenheit. This meant, unfortunately, that the considerable wealth of snow we had recently amassed went right ahead and melted. The streets were just swimming in ice water. I consider the fact that I didn’t slip nothing short of a miracle… although I did step in a puddle deep enough to drown in and my pants were soaked well above the knee. I then proceeded to make one bad decision after another, in that I a) wore boots that weren’t waterproof, b) took the abundantly soggy route to class, c) took the long route back to the dorm because I wanted to stop and get a sandwich, except d) they were out of sandwiches, and then e) I slid halfway down a hill and almost trampled a child.

I’m sorry this post is… 10 minutes late. Blame John Mulaney, the hysterical bastard.


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