Facebook chatting and why I suck at it

Reading my posts, you might be wondering if I ever talk to anyone other than Tara. And I swear that I do! I have other friends! Probably! (You can’t know this for sure, but all the evidence points to me at least having a smidgeon of friend-like people in my arsenal.)

It’s just that the Facebook chats I have with Tara are strange, silly, long, adventurous, usually coherent, and always good for at least a gigglesnort. Conversations with others can be lackluster, and short. And that’s not anyone else’s fault; it’s mine. It takes a special kind of person to be able to hold a decent Facebook chat with me. I’m difficult and lazy. A disproportionate amount of conversations end with someone saying “oh,” and we wind up with something like this:

Elodie: Guess who I saw the other day.
Sarah: who?
Elodie: [Guy who went to our high school]
Sarah: no way
Sarah: what was he up to??
Sarah: did you say hi??
Sarah: how was he?!
Elodie: Tall.
Sarah: oh.

And then

Lilly: you have to put in your personal information before you can use it
Elodie: hang on
Elodie:
Elodie: I accidentally said I was a man
Lilly: oh

And

Elodie: HEY! Congrats on the game!
Alex: thanks
Alex: it was wet as piss outside
Elodie: …oh

And finally

Allison: We should all plan on hanging out Friday night. I don’t care what we do, but I am getting us all together!
Tara: Whoa Allison’s taking charge
Elodie: I nominate Allison as new team leader in charge of the group.
Holly: I concur.
Tara: So what should we do?
Tara: Whenever we come back for winter break, I forget what there is to do in [City]
Elodie: You know, if nothing else we could just go out for dinner and see what occurs to us there.
Elodie: the best plans are made spontaneously
Tara: I agree
Allison: I’m digging that plan! I nominate Elodie as new team leader!
Tara: Yeah Elodie should make all the plans for that night
Elodie: I accept.
Elodie: You’re all going to regret this.
Holly:
Allison: Uh oh.

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