Ten minutes ago I locked myself out of the building for the second time in the last month. My general strategy is to sit on a nearby bench and act like I’m waiting for somebody, then when I see someone enter the building I bolt for the door and try to grab it before it closes. So I was heading back to my building to do just that… when I noticed this guy going the same way. Perfect. Now, I recognized him, but I didn’t know him, so I followed him for about a 1/2 mile back to the dorm. In the dark. Like a truly creepy human being.
The only thing was, he was about 6’4″ with legs like skyscrapers. I swear he was the fastest man in he world. And so we both awkwardly sprinted back to the dorm.
If you’re going to tell me this wasn’t the best story you’ve heard all day, YOU’RE LYING.