Greatest Thing I’ve Ever Seen

Went to the football games. We lost. It got to the point where you almost wanted to cheer for the other team because they were so damn awesome. Tristan was there, but a) I’m saving that for next week’s column, and b) if I were to divulge any of that information it might distract from my telling of The Greatest Thing I’ve Ever Seen.

Here’s how it went down: It was Tristan’s team vs. Our Rival School, and Tristan’s school was annihilating. (I sat with Tristan… no regrets. I couldn’t very well sit with our rivals; I was all decked out in my school colors.) So it’s fourth down and they have to punt it away. The kicker punts the ball and it flies straight up, which in and of itself is a little shocking, but then it goes to a whole other level when the ball hits a passing seagull, then comes back down and beans the kicker, who has fallen flat on his back from the force of the aforementioned straight-up kick. The other team is stunned, like they’re not quite sure if that really just happened. The refs are baffled. I personally have fallen out of my seat, spewing the laughter of the psychotically unhinged, slightly unsure if I will ever stop finding this hilarious. And indeed, to this day, a little part of me still laughs.


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