Priorities… My Mom Has Them

For Father’s Day, my dad is hinting that he might maybe want to go to a baseball game. I do not have fond memories of baseball games. I have never caught a fly ball—I have, however, been hit with one.

At this particular game, I went to get breadsticks with my friend Allison. We were laughing about something or other when suddenly we heard screams and we looked up and BAM. The ball bounced off the roof—swarms of people were sprinting towards us like a crazed mob—it hit Allison, whereupon Allison had some kind of spastic fit and all the breadsticks went toppling out of her arms—it bounced onto me and smacked me full in the face—I juggled with it for a moment—and then the ball went flying out of my hands like a bar of soap in the shower. This group of boys converged on it (I dove into the pile and was hit with some flailing arms) and finally a victor emerged. He was this boy who happened to be my neighbor, and he held the ball in the air with a victorious whoop. All the while I was howling, “Nooooooooooooooo!” and beating my fists on the ground in devastation.

We went back to our seats, dejected, and told my parents the whole thrilling tale. My dad was too busy cheering on our team to offer up more than a “Sounds… awful. Bases are loaded! BASES ARE LOADED!”

And my mom? My mom’s only question was, “What happened to the breadsticks?”

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5 thoughts on “Priorities… My Mom Has Them

  1. Ah no, that’s terrible! O.o I’m not too much into sports myself, but even I have to admit that sounds devastating LOL None of my family is into sports, really, so we’d probably all be mirroring your mom’s reaction of “mhm, that’s nice, where are the breadsticks?” My dad’s so clueless about sports he doesn’t even know how the seasons work. My mom had to explain it to him. I love my father. xD

    This story reminds me a little of when I was in eighth grade and got hit in the head with a volleyball…some kid served the ball, it went straight up into the ceiling, bounced off some of the rafters, then came straight back down directly on my head. It was like a cartoon. And of course I could probably win some sort of award for being the most uncoordinated and non-athletic person in our entire district ANYWAY, so the irony of it all was just sickening. xP

    • Ahaha we need a club for the seriously uncoordinated. We can share our cringe-worthy stories and bring cookies, and we’ll all meet in a safe room with padded walls in case someone has a sudden bout of active movement.

      • will they be chocolate chip?
        i’m only coming if they’re chocolate chip.
        seriously though, yay for the uncoordinated! i am the very definition of uncoordinated; ask anyone in my pe class. one time, i served a volleyball that went straight up… and then hit me right on the head.
        i wasn’t aware that was even possible.

      • That takes SERIOUS skill. I mean, jeez. People think being uncoordinated is easy? Being this graceless takes talent.

        And there will be every kind of cookie imaginable. We have that kind of time. It’s not like we play sports or anything. XD

  2. Pingback: This is a rough approximation of how I would fare if you were to drop me in the middle of nowhere and expect me to find my way home | Fate loves the fearless

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