I’m not mortally afraid of clowns that way some people are, but I dislike them all the same. I mean, who doesn’t? They’re creepy and unnatural, and who could forget John Wayne Gacy, who killed 33 people and went by the cheerful moniker of “The Killer Clown”? Clowns are sketchy, like oatmeal cookies and parking garages. They just are.
But there’s a legitimate circus in my town this week! I kid you not—a freaking circus! I’m kind of pumped, despite the likelihood of seeing clowns. When I was five, a clown sat on my father. I’ve been wary of them ever since.