That’s the last time I share a bottle of Coke with my friends. I’m pretty sure that’s what did it. The timing is precise, and they’re all sick too. Although admittedly, I’m pretty sure the sickness started with me and spread to them. Regardless, I’m done flouting the rules of good hygiene, and I’m going to live a lonely, germaphobic existence, and never share food or drinks with anyone ever again. So if someone says, “Can I have a sip of your water? I’m about ten seconds away from death by dehydration,” I’m just gonna be like, “GET BACK, YOU HEATHEN!”
Anyway, I’ve eaten about seventy-six Fudge Rounds (THEY’RE MY GUILTY PLEASURE FOOD) and I’m just going to go watch Teen Jeopardy and cuddle with my antisocial dog under a blanket. So it’s like even when I lose, I win.