I was running errands yesterday, which I’m assuming you gathered from the absolutely gripping title. I went to Target to buy stuff, like shampoo, Luxury Lime Creme nail polish, and a Crunch bar. The total came out to be something like $7.59, and while I could easily have paid with a ten, I had this wad of one-dollar bills burning a hole in my pocket. I loathe ones. They are the bane of my existence. I’m pretty sure that, over the course of my life, I’ve misplaced about $691 in ones, because when you misplace a one or lose it in the wind, why bother going after it? Whereas you lose a twenty in the wind and suddenly the race is on, and you’re sprinting through the parking lot, screaming obscenities and trying to pin it down. What, you’ve never done that? I have. And I slipped in a puddle. I’m sure it’s on YouTube, there was a multitude of witnesses.