AWKWARD CONVERSATION ALERT

So, there I was, minding my own business in the lunch line. Actually, I was watching my friends pile all their food onto a single tray, since the cafeteria had run out, and it was a sight to behold. Then I noticed some lady (a substitute teacher, I think) staring intently at my lunch. I looked at my food, too. Spicy popcorn chicken, a cinnamon bun, and a bottled water. Not exactly orthodox, but it wasn’t like I had a mountain of Pop-Tarts, French fries, Captain Crunch, blueberry muffins, and hot chocolate like my friends across the room.

Then she practically bellowed so loud that everyone within a 50-mile radius could hear, “With a meal like that, it’s amazing you don’t weigh 500 pounds!”

I blinked. I really didn’t know what to say to that. Thanks? I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh… yeah.”

“But really!” she went on. “Really! How do you keep it off?”

“I really have no idea,” I said.

At that point the line surged forward, and I left her telling the poor guy behind her, “I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, too, you know. Then I hit 40…”

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