When your teacher starts talking about sex… avoid eye contact

My English teacher was talking about sex. Again. The fact that this is a regular occurrence alarms me.

We were discussing a passage from The Odyssey, the one about the Siren Song. And while I would’ve been perfectly content ignoring the underlying sexual components, she felt the need to point out the words “erect” and “ravished.” It’s one thing to make dirty jokes with your friends. It’s another to have your English teacher chatting casually about Odysseus’ apparently ambiguous sexual orientation.

The thing is, there’s nowhere to look. Because I have the maturity of  a twelve-year-old boy, I kept raising my eyebrows suggestively at my friend and dissolving into silent giggles. I was trying not to, so in an effort not to look at her, I glanced around the room… and made eye contact with The Uber Hottie right when the teacher said “erect.” Then I quickly looked away and stared at my desk for the rest of the class.

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