Dentistry (read: approved form of torture)

Dentists’ offices are awful places. I walked in, sat myself down in the little seat, and in charged my “nurse” (or whatever the dentist’s equivalent of a nurse is) with the air of someone in a great hurry. She literally dumped a heap of instruments on the tray, cracked her knuckles, and all but said, “Let’s do this thing.” And then she cleaned my teeth with the vigor of an Olympic medalist. She flossed like there was a race and the winner was going to Hawaii. She gagged me with x-rays. She nearly poisoned me with fluoride. I swear I cheated death that day. And my teeth still hurt like hell.

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